As I wrote sometime back, I lost a pair of prescription sunglasses and came up with a $4,000 solution.
I had always fought the fact that my vision was a bit fuzzy. I got my first pair of glasses when I was a freshman in high school 1990, remember that was when we were
at war with Iraq. Those glasses rarely made it to my face. Sometime in my late teens I started wearing them for driving and gradually added them to other aspects of my life until late 2001 when I got a pair of prescription safety glasses, finally completely surrendering to the fact that I needed to wear glasses.
Lasik surgery had always interested me, but the side effects had me hesitant. Then in a short time, two of the least risky people I know, both got their eyes fixed. This made me do some thinking about what my life had become, but still financially crippled it remained only a thought. Until the previous mentioned combination of losing my glasses and emerging from credit card dept happened in a weeks time. These events made me realize now is the time.
I went with the doctor my one friend used, mostly because I knew how
anally thoroughly he researched it. Set up an appointment and one short movie with some actor I never heard of, I was scheduled for the surgery.
I have come to realize there are two types of people. People that wear glasses and people that have no idea of the burden. Whenever I would tell someone that I was getting the surgery, people who don't need glasses would squirm and act like I was crazy. People who do need glasses would say almost word for word, "let me know how it turns out. I want to get that too." I was so anxious to get the surgery I even had a dream one night that they told me they couldn't do it at the last minute. I woke up having to remind myself it was only a dream.
The day before the surgery I was taking a screw out at work and metal shavings fell into my eye. I rinsed my eye out with eyewash three times and made sure that my eyes were closed whenever I was doing something that would cause me to wear glasses one more day than I had to.
The day of my surgery they took me back rather quickly, they obviously don't know how a doctors office is suppose to work. I sat in special waiting room, sort of a pre op room and they introduced me to a cute girl who was going to get the surgery right before me. The fact that she was on Valium and I would be shortly too, plus the fact that we were both about to have an episode of Star Wars in our eyes kept me from hitting on her, otherwise I would of thought of some other excuse not to. They took her away to cut her flap and I got to listen to a play by play of a nurse telling her mother, who was observing in the other room. This wasn't the best set up I thought. They brought her out and she seemed dazed and very hard of sight. They asked her how was her vision and she said, "very blurry". They told her to sit down for a little bit until the next part. She very quickly asked, "can I read magazines?" this seemed like a really odd thing for someone who had to be helped to a chair to ask, but there must of been an article she really wanted to read in between laser attacks.
Then they took me back to cut my flap. I think that I was so excited about the fact that I wasn't going to have to wear glasses again that I never thought about the people and machines that would be going into my eyes. They put the clamps to hold my eyelid open and that was no fun. Then they put this suction cup thing on my eye and that was no fun. The doc. says, "your vision will get blurry," as he puts them on and I inform him that my vision went black (I was told that could happen) then I felt the piece of glass flatten my eye and that was no fun. Then they shot the laser in my eye to cut the flap. I couldn't feel the laser, so the only thing bad about that was I had to have an eyelid clap on, a suction cup on my eye and a piece of glass flattening my eye for the laser to work. Then the doctor looked in my eye and said, "Wow the bubbles are almost all gone!" The laser causes gas bubbles to build up in the eye apparently my eyes dissipate gas quickly, so I got that going for me. Then he did the other eye, which was no fun.
They took me out to the waiting room and told me I could put my feet up and read some magazines while I waited for the next step. I really wondered at this point why that cute girl wanted to know if she could read magazines because looking at little words wasn't on the top of my list of things to do at this point. But lacking anything else to do I picked up a magazine and attempted to read a very interesting analysis of the 2008 presidential candidates bumper stickers. They said Romney's sucked, and Obama and Giuliani were good. Anyway it was hard to read since I just had my cornea cut with a laser and my mind wasn't all that into the 2008 election at that moment.
Wow did this post got long, I'm now on day two of writing. Onward!
Then after a little while they took me back to the room and more eyelid clamps. Then the doctor put a mark on my eye. It was kind of cool because I could see my vision blur as he put the marker to my eye and come back to normal as he took it away. Then I had to watch a little red light dance around and whamo all done.
They took me out to my "driver" or as she prefers to be called mom, and gave me a pain pill, I would later find out was percocet. So at this time I now have Valium and percocet in me, for those keeping count. We walked out of the hall and my mom asked me if I could see, which is always a good question to ask someone you are following. I told her, and wasn't lying that I could see it was just really blurry and my eyes were water like crazy.
The drive home was uneventful except that the cheap sunglasses they gave me was no match for the 3:30 sun we were driving right at. I got home and sent my "driver" on her way. I took a sleeping pill (dalmane) they gave me, so we are at valum, percocet and dalmane. I took a couple of bites of a sandwich, not sure if I should eat it or not because of conflicting instructions that I didn't feel was important enough to clarify. Then I went upstairs to hopefully sleep the pain away. I went into the kit they gave me to find the eye shields I was suppose to tape to my face. There was only one. I have two eyes! I looked again, then again, then again. Finally I called the doctors office. They told me that sometimes they stick together. By this point I could barely see through my tears to tell if I was holding two, but after flicking it with my finger tip, I determined it was just one. She put me on hold and came back to tell me that there was two eye shields when I left. A point I still dispute and didn't really feel that point was relevant at the time. I had just had surgery on my eyes, had a gut full of dope and specifically went to this place for a higher quality of service (and paid for) than I would elsewhere. They told me I could send my driver back to get a new one. I told them my driver had already left. There was silence and I said I would see if I could get a hold of her. My mom has a cell phone, but if she had it on her I didn't know. Also I had no idea where to find the number and wasn't in a searching condition. I tried to call my parents house hoping my dad would be home and their phone wasn't working. Then I tried my brothers house and hung up when I realized he would still be at work. I called his cell and after he couldn't get a hold of my "driver" offered to pick the shield up for me.
The next approximately hour was one of the most excruciating of my life. With all the drugs in me I wanted to go to sleep, my eyes were hurting and watering like fountains. It was also becoming harder and more painful to keep them open. Alas my brother arrived with the shield. Another sleeping pill, because they told us if we couldn't fall asleep after a half hour to take the second pill. They didn't really explain what to do in a situation like mine, but I decided to go with the second pill because after all that shit I really didn't need to take any chances.
Next thing I know it is twelve hours later and I am trying to look through the slots of tape on my eye shields to see if I can read my clock. I decided to take the eye shield off since I was too excited to see what happened to me to sleep anymore. I could see the clock! And my neighbors license plate! And through walls! well actually I couldn't afford that extra, so walls are still opaque to me. I went into the doctors office around nine. I walked past the girl addicted to Valium. I can only assume she was all hopped up since every other time I have see her she was. Inside the doctors office I was asked how I slept. I said, "good after I got my eye shield". They told me that my right eye is 20/20 and my left eye is 20/15. I screamed and yelled until they explained that 20/15 is better than 20/20. A bit misleading I think.
Now I just have to get use to not putting glasses on anymore.
Labels: Jontown
Also yesterday I got to stop taking the second perception eye drop. The eye drop was milky and would fog my vision for a couple of seconds. Sometimes it would go down my tear ducts, into my mouth and it tasted horrible. Also it left gunky white eye junk in the corner of my eyes and since I couldn't touch my eyes I just had to leave it. And lastly after I put the drops in it gave the appearance that I cried tears of milk and I feel it is important to say I'm no milk crier!
Also yesterday I got to stop taking the second perception eye drop. The eye drop was milky and would fog my vision for a couple of seconds. Sometimes it would go down my tear ducts, into my mouth and it tasted horrible. Also it left gunky white eye junk in the corner of my eyes and since I couldn't touch my eyes I just had to leave it. And lastly after I put the drops in it gave the appearance that I cried tears of milk and I feel it is important to say I'm no milk crier!
